Could Have Been Weirder
by whitedevilwings
Summary: This wasn't what he expected it to be. He expected something sadistically romantic, or poetic in some sappy kind of way. He expected it to be delightfully painful and not just—well, painful. Having a dick shoved up your ass is not really that amazing.SxN
1. Chapter 1

**After a period no one minded, I'm fucking back.**

**Aren't you all fucking rejoicing in the glory of this moment? **

**I'm not.**

**Whatever. Weird shit this is, it's just fucking weird. That's the warning for you. If you don't like bxb sex than what the fuck are you doing in this site?**

**Disclaimer- I'm waaaay too awesome—and busy—to own this shit.**

**Enjoy if you're weird.**

This wasn't what he expected it to be. He expected something sadistically romantic, or poetic in some sappy kind of way. He expected it to be delightfully painful and not just—well, painful. Having a dick shoved up your ass can sound so fucking awesome when it's like:

"He put the tip of his engorged member at his partner's entrance and nudged gently." Yeah, like all those fucking gay-lover novels he shoved his nose into like a nerd.

And he was _not _a nerd. Period.

I just didn't make sense, you know? Perfect contrast? Some shit like that.

Anyways.

It was disturbing how he managed to block himself completely out of the emotional experience. Like, he was _there_, but he really wasn't. He was staring at the ceiling like it was a real-fucking-interest in his current fucked state.

Yeah. Literally.

The guy's dick was like a fucking furnace, and not in a good way. It was mixing with the blood that was filling his fucking _ass_-hole and it burned and stung like a bitch with a vengeance. The dude wasn't all that articulate too, though he couldn't really be blamed. He was moaning very passionate versions of his name, but instead of feeling turned on he felt kind of awkward. He was dryly commanding the douche to go _faster_, to get it _over with_, but this shit wanted to take it slow. "Revel in you while I have you."

Whatever.

In, out, in, out, moan, in, grunt, out, hiss. God, he was so loud. He was so glad he was so drunk he forgot how to think so he probably wouldn't remember this experience.

He wasn't even gay. He wasn't like experimenting or something, he was offered in a bar by this handsome dude to fuck, so like, 'what the hell?' You only get to live once, right? Well, except those people who didn't do what they were destined to do, then they come back in another body. Which totally sucks, right?

Imagine you're this totally bangable chick with hot little jugs and a wriggling bubble ass and guys have to jack-off their ding-dongs just upon eye-contact. Then you die. Then you're born and you look like a mother-fucking monkey.

Oh, wait. _Father_-fucking. He learned it from Chris Crocker.

_Ugh_, you know he has a video that he makes out with his _brother_? _Incestnausea_! Whatever, it was like, so fucked up.

So it sucks. Being born as a monkey.

Then this guy was kissing him, and his drool made him all woozy and his insides squelched in faint disgust. Sasuke. That's the dude's name. He's Asian, though he ain't all that yellow-y. God, he's such a fucking stereotype. He should be fucking hanged, such a waste of human life. A monkey would be so much better.

Sasuke's like, cute. Yeah, in a girly way cute. He's blushing so deep it looks…like…something red, seriously. His eyes are shining with some sort of earthy feeling he couldn't feel now.

Because just when ass-fucked, Naruto Uzumaki decides to go all spiritual.

Over all- Sasuke is hot. He is. He moves like a Ferrari and has a sexy voice to accompany that. Girls were all clingy to his arms when he saw him. He has cool eyes. Too cool, like frosty and chilly and cold. Sad, and miserable.

He was giving him a pity-fuck.

He was doing him a charity.

He was bad-ass.

But this guy's like, kinda weird. He shoves in his dick deeper, like it wasn't deep enough, and Naruto is about to puke at how warm and tingly he feels, all over.

It's kind of a shock when he comes because it catches him completely off-guard.

And he didn't scream.

The guy pinched his ass. Yeah. Denial is awesome. _'Hi, I'm Naruto and I'm denialohilic.' _

Sasuke looks at him when he comes, and Naruto is totally shocked when he smiled and touched his cheeks. He was mildly disgusted but still excited, and a little curious. Sasuke's smile fades quickly when Naruto does not return the gesture, simply staring off and looking completely out-of-it. Out of something. Like out of his body.

"Are you alright," Sasuke asks.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Sasuke smiles again, and this time Naruto frowns. "What the hell is with you," he screams. Sasuke is not shocked.

Nothing.

Naruto was getting pissed, though it was weird that he cared.

"Pity-fuck, remember?"

The guy cringes.

"I guess I'm in love with you."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, like, in love and shit, the whole ordeal. I know you weren't all that fucking-ecstatic about the sex, but first times taking it up the fucking arse-hole is fucking horrible. I'm offering myself, I guess."

"Whatever, just get out of me, weirdo." Sasuke fucking smiled again. Naruto smiled back cause he wanted to, for the hell of it. Sasuke can be gone in the morning.

But it's not like he fell in-love with this douche just from a not-at-all-poetic-or-romantic-or-anything-like-sadistic fuck.

It just didn't make any fucking sense.

But he grinned anyways, even though he didn't give a staggering shit.

Sasuke was fun while he lasted.

-End-

**Uh, yeah, whatever. I was bored and shit so I wrote it. It's weird and annoying but I like everything I write cause I'm fucking hardcore like that. **

**Review, don't review. Your choice guyz. Just I know how much it fucking sux when you don't get a review so it'd be really fucking splendid if you did.**

**Whatever.**

**Peace- **

**~whitedevil**


	2. Chapter 2

When he woke up, this Sasuke was showering. His butt burned like all mother of fuck and he hated the fact that he somewhat liked it.

God, what a sick fuck he was.

It was like, kind of refreshing, seriously having a pain in the ass that was literally caused by this dude who claimed he was in-love with him for no apparent reason.

He wasn't _special_ or anything. Well, he was…But not in a positive way. He was like, freaky. And weird. Generally people just didn't seem too fond of him.

And _shit_, his fucking head was spinning. Hangovers were such a bitch.

What bothered him was the fact he didn't mind—even now—that he was banged by a _dude_. And that he seemed to be fine with waking up in the dude's bed, naked and with disgusting cum stains all over his body. And his teeth tasted like shit, and he wanted to barf. As soon as this Sasuke is out he'll shower.

_Ugh_, and they didn't use condoms. Like, not at all. Ew, shit, cum was leaking out of his ass! Ugh, ew, fuck! Did they use lube?

Nope. His ass was _waaay _too sore. And besides, he was a total masochist. Even though he _hated _to admit it.

He wasn't into whip and hand-cuffs or some crazy fetish shit like that. He just liked being pained. Physically. It's probably 'cause he was such a fucking out-cast all his life, no one dared to touch him. Like he was burning. So when people _finally_ came around and touched him, he liked it _hard_. Like he was missing out on something.

Anyway.

Sasuke doesn't seem like a dude who fucks all dudes in the neighborhood. And maybe he exaggerated little when he said the guy offered him to fuck. He wasn't all like:

"Yo, bitch, I like your ass, let's fuck!"

Actually, it was him who entailed it. But it was _very_ well disguised. Denial, Naruto—it's good for you.

The guy was so enticing. He looked in utter denial, like Naruto, and depressed, like Naruto. It was such a…familiar aura that surrounded Sasuke.

Oh, and by the way- He still wasn't gay.

He read gay-novels and shit 'cause they were _interesting _and _contextual_. He skipped most of the sex scenes anyways (_Yeah, right_).

Going back to Sasuke.

And he _was _hot. Seriously hot, but not in an ordinary way. He was…_beautiful_. Shit, what the fuck is going on with stomach? Did he eat something bad? He checked his milk _thoroughly_. It starts going lurching around every time he thinks of this dick who decided he can fuck himself into Naruto's life. Well, he's got another thing coming.

He decided he should do what he always does when things get dangerous. He'll run. He shot out of bed like a bullet and started putting on his clothes.

Why did he let himself be fucked, huh?

His boxers were _torn_, and his pants had a huge cum stain on them. _Ugh_.

Why didn't he fucking care that he was fucked? This is a huge deal and…shit, why is he caring _now_?

His shirt was somewhat alright. His socks were no where to be seen so he just put his shoes and attempted an escape.

But shit, this house was _huge_!

And finally, when he found the door Sasuke was there. He wasn't totally naked but it still made Naruto flush a little and scrunched his nose. "Ugh, dude, put something on."

Sasuke was staring at him in that way, like he wasn't really there, like how Naruto felt when Sasuke fucked him. It kinda pissed him off. "Hey, bastard, I'm talking to you."

"I can hear you."

"Then why ain't you answering?"

"Why are you leaving?" The question catches him off-guard. Probably because it was so straight-forward.

"Uh, dunno- I guess 'cause we fucked and shit…kinda awkward…"

"Want a breakfast?" His stomach howled happily. That's way too much to refuse. He can't help himself. He smiled. "Sure, man."

"Holy shit, your kitchen is father-fucking _huge_!"

"Father-fucking?"

"Yeah, Chris Crocker? Know him? You know, the guy in YouTube, 'LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE'! That one?" Sasuke stared at him amusedly, like he was…_cute_. It was embarrassing. And he seriously needed a shower, and to brush his teeth before his teeth. "Hey uh…can I like, use the shower and shit? I'm all dirty."

"Of course." They stared at each for a long time until. "Uh…where is it?"

"Come with me."

"Oh, that's cool man, I can go on my own." He was fidgeting nervously. Sasuke was such a…an annoying fuck—making him feel weird shit. "I insist."

"Right." Sasuke got up and started walking. Naruto followed. It was strange, how immensely awkward this was but how calm he was at the same time. His ass still hurt. He was kinda limping, but not something that people would notice. Not that they care and shit, right? Still, they judge all the time, so he doesn't want the attention. Rather just blend in.

"In here. I left you pain-killers and a toothbrush. Come down when you're ready." He nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Sasuke." And what he did next kind of shocked both him and Sasuke. He kissed him. Nothing big or passionate. Just an appreciative peck on the lips. He realized Sasuke's lips. They were nice and mushy, but dry. A nice mixture. Sasuke didn't have a _taste_. But he smelled really nice.

Sasuke smiled back. "Anytime, Naruto."

Fuck, he like how he said his name. He had Japanese accent, so how he weirdly rolled the 'R' on his tongue was…kind of…sexy.

The shower was _heaven_. Just pure fucking heaven. He smiled and moaned as his ass relaxed. Then he heard music coming from the kitchen. _Dude_, was Sasuke gay. The lyrics flowed nicely, and even though he'd have to kill everyone who heard that he liked this song _so _fucking much it hurt, he was still surprised Sasuke liked it too, and more importantly, dared to put it on when he had company.

"_I'm lyin' here on the floor where you left me,__  
__I think I took too much."_

He cautiously opened his mouth and whispered the words, rocking to the beat and washing his hair, trying to brush his teeth.

"_I'm crying here, what have you done?__  
__I thought it would be fun."_

He took the handle and used it as a microphone and spat the toothpaste in his mouth, grinning madly.

"_I can't stay on your life support, there's a__  
__shortage in the switch,__  
__I can't stay on your morphine, cuz its making me__  
__itch__  
__I said I tried to call the nurse again but she's__  
__being a little bitch,__  
__I think I'll get outta here, where I can___

_Run just as fast as I can__  
__To the middle of nowhere__  
__To the middle of my frustrated fears__  
__And I swear you're just like a pill__  
__Instead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me__  
__ill__  
__You keep makin' me ill!"_

He was screaming the words at the top of his lungs, smiling so hard it hurt. Ah, sweet, sweet P!nk, you're fucking badass. He exited the shower, still singing, when he smelled something _good_. As in, _good_ good kinda good. He reached the kitchen and his brain stopped.

Was that…was…was that…_ramen_? "RAAAMEEEEEEEN!"

He didn't feel awkward at all, he just leapt on the table and ate and ate and ate. He ate Sasuke's half too, since the boy was eating…ugh…_vegetables_.

Seriously, what the fuck? They are _green_ for fucks sake. Now that's disgusting.

When he finished his stomach was practically round. Sasuke looked detached again, and kinda…scared. "So you'll be leaving now…right?"

"Uh…I don't know…if you want me too…I have no problem to like, uh…"

"Do you…need a ride?"

"Uh, sure."

Sasuke was fully dressed again. He had a nice, slick car in black. The drive was quiet. They didn't say anything, and it was making Naruto kind of upset.

"So, um, if you wanna call me to like, uh, I dunno, like- get together or something…or…uh…" He trailed off, feeling dumb. And surprised. This wasn't exactly what he had planned. But Sasuke smiled, it he guessed he could deal with it. He leaned up and kissed him again, this time longer, and bid him goodbye. He sighed. This was so fucked up…

But he smiled.

He met a dude in a bar and fucked him, then the dude told him he loved him and he realized that he was feeling some weird shit to the dude too, and it didn't feel disgusting to kiss him, and he was nice and whatever. So like, maybe he fell for this weird dude. Whatever. He smiled wider.

Oh well.

Could have been weirder, right? _  
_


End file.
